How to not be scared by horror (in general)

Cole Shoemaker ’20, Opinion Editor

It is October. It is the time for spooks and scares of all sorts, and while many people revel being terrified, numerous others are just straight-up scared by, well, all the scary things. And for all those frightened souls out there, this guide exists as a light in the darkness to show you the way across the river of fear to the land of unflinching courage.

Let’s start with step one, which is specifically being comfortable. If you are all cozied up in your favorite and most comfortable getup, then you will probably be focusing on staying awake instead of the nightmare incarnate directly in front of you. However, if you are dressed normally (or even worse, dressed up) then you will be unable to distract yourself from the things that go bump in the dark.

Once you have yourself dressed down, it is time for step two. Not thinking. If you do not think about the spook, you cannot be spooked. Erase that image from your head, whatever it may be. Skeleton, zombie, ghost, skeletal zombie-ghost, etcetera. This step has been tried and proven by juniors Nicholas Yarkosky and Jason Lee, saying “Just try to remain calm and collected.” And “Try not to think about it, and then pull through.” Respectively.

Step three is rather simple, and that is to bring a Brave Buddy. A Brave Buddy is a friend you have (whether they are made up or real is of no consequence to me) who is resistant, if not straight up immune, to any and all effects of the plague known as fear. This Brave Buddy will (preferably) serve as your rock, somebody that you can trust with your life and your soul itself, a person who will face the horrors first so that you can rest easy knowing that they have this all under control. But you must be careful, as it is very easy to fake being a Brave Buddy, and your choice may prove flawed. Unfortunately various pseudosciences have yet to determine a way to detect a faker, so just being careful is all the advice that can be offered.

So with this guide and all of its steps in mind, it should be easier than ever to participate in this Halloween without being so scared you cannot even move.

Photo courtesy of USA Today