Chloe McCarthy ’18, Feature/Opinion Editor
DISCLAIMER: I am not arguing that astrology is real or not real. This is strictly for fun! Also, please do not take it seriously! EVERY zodiac sign has flaws, but every sign also has a plethora of positive attributes as well. So don’t be peeved!
Round One:
Capricorn vs. Aquarius
Capricorn and Aquarius are much more similar than they are different. Both signs have a tendency to be detached emotionally and give off an aloof aura. Aquarians tend to be more laid-back, while Capricorns are notorious for their unrelenting work-ethic and having the inability to lead a stress-free life. Yes, Capricorns do tend to be very successful in their job-life, but outside of the workplace, Aquarius is probably the superior sign.
Winner: Aquarius
Pisces vs. Aries
In the astrological year, Aries is the first sign, meaning it represents the birth of the soul. Pisces, being the last sign, represents death. Taking this fact into consideration, it’s not hard to see why Pisces is usually considered the oddball of the zodiac; after all, there are more Pisces serial killers than any other sign. Aries, on the other hand, has developed a reputation as the baby of the zodiac, struggling with impulsivity and moderation. Really, you can’t have two more different signs. Aries takes the cake between this duo due to their fiery spirit and buzzing energy, whereas Pisces’ old-soul sometimes sticks out like an Eeyore in a room full of Tiggers.
Winner: Aries
Taurus vs. Gemini
If there is one sign that probably finds Geminis the most annoying, it is probably Taurus. Taurus places a very high value on patience and steadfastness, while Geminis cannot pick an opinion and stick with it for the life of them. Taurus longs for a reliable, sturdy life, while Geminis have the attention-span of a goldfish. And before you say it sounds like I’m biased against Geminis– I am a Gemini. And I know firsthand that we are oh-so flawed.
Winner: Taurus
Cancer vs. Leo
Cancer and Leo are a pretty solid duo when it comes to friendships, as well as romance. Leos love themselves more than anything else, and Cancers love getting wrapped up into other people’s lives as much as humanly possible. Cancer is represented by the adolescent, stuck between childhood and maturity with all the moodiness and sensitivity that comes with it. In social situations, Cancers have a tendency to be too aware of the groups’ feelings, whereas Leos are just trying to rake in the attention and romantic affections from anyone they can get. Although Leos’ dominant, competitive aura is overbearing for certain signs, you cannot deny everyone is a little bit jealous of a Leo in their life, as they tend to win at just about anything they try. And this matchup is no different.
Winner: Leo
Virgo vs. Libra
While Virgos are fixated on using logic and reason at all times, Libras are notorious in the zodiac world for always having their heads in the clouds, usually daydreaming about their new crush they develop every day. But it is this same love for love and warmth towards others that puts Libras over Virgos, who are oftentimes so critical and analytical of others that they rarely find satisfaction.
Winner: Libra
Scorpio vs. Sagittarius
Now we enter the crazyville of the zodiac. Just kidding. Well, kind of. Scorpios have a (sometimes true) reputation of being the villain of the zodiac. Maybe it’s just because they are represented by the scorpion, or maybe it’s because Halloween and the brisk winds of November land during Scorpio season. But what Scorpios have over Sagittarius is their undeniable magnetism and will-power to get stuff done. Sagittarians are often too reckless and hedonistic to think of the world on any bigger scope than where they’ll find their next wild adventure.
Winner: Scorpio
Okay, I may have been a little too harsh on some signs. So, I am giving Gemini and Virgo a second chance to go head-to-head against each other in the next round.
Wild card #1: Gemini
Wild card #2: Virgo
Round Two:
Aquarius vs. Aries
Have you ever been around someone so intense that you start to subconsciously yell when you’re talking to them? Yeah, that’s the effect an Aries will have on you. While Aries’ confidence is certainly something to admire, sometimes you just need someone a bit more relaxed. Aquarians are much more interested in laying back and watching a hipster movie than going to a Karaoke bar and getting in a fist-fight with a stranger. Aries folks always have their dukes put up. Sure, some playful banter is always fun, but Aries has a tendency to take it too far, seeming genuinely mad, like, all the time.
Winner: Aquarius
Taurus vs. Leo
A lot of signs have overlapping qualities: Leos and Aries are both major attention-seekers, Cancers and Pisces are both very sensitive, and Virgos and Capricorns are both extremely work-oriented. But Taureans have a quality that is rather unique from all the competing signs: their materialistic ways. No other sign is as bad with money as Taurus. While Leo would probably drop some money on makeup or a new mirror due to their egotistical nature, Taurus would buy anything and everything in sight.
Winner: Leo
Libra vs. Scorpio
Most likely, your first impressions of these signs could not be more different. Libras are the most bubbly, cheery people in the room, whereas Scorpio might be calculating in the corner with a select group of friends, shooting glares every which way. For this duo, the winner shall be determined by first impression. Libras are a ray of sunshine for everyone in the room; Scorpios, while very driven and magnetic people, are sometimes not as pleasant to be around upon first impression.
Winner: Libra
Gemini vs. Virgo
Gemini and Virgo are perhaps two of the most intelligent signs, as they are both ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication and organization. Both signs feel a strong need to express their thoughts very articulately, oftentimes using their linguistic prowess to their advantage in arguments and debates. Geminis are constantly fascinated by the world around them, seeking exciting intellectual stimulation at every turn. Virgos, though, view the world a bit more cynically, as they analyze others’ every move, ultimately left underwhelmed by those who do not meet their impossibly high standards.
Winner: Gemini
Final Four:
Aquarius vs. Leo
Both Aquarius and Leo are some of the friendliest signs of the zodiac. Although under the surface Aquarius may struggle with emotional distance, to others they appear selfless and ready to lend a helping hand at the drop of a pin. This is because Aquarius represents the final years in a person’s life. According to master astrologist Linda Goodman, at this stage the Aquarian soul “has now acquired a true humanitarian approach, for the Water Bearer has learned that he or she is one with all mankind and womankind– and with nature.” Leos, on the other hand, represent the teenage soul. Although the teenage years offer the first real expression of self-confidence and individuality, the soul has not yet evolved to the point of wisdom and humanitarianism that Aquarius knows to be true.
Winner: Aquarius
Libra vs. Gemini
Both Libras and Geminis belong to the air element, meaning they both can be irresponsible and fickle. Libras, however, have gone through enough evolution of the soul to at least be self-aware. While Geminis use the most basic (at times childish) level of logic and reason, Libras have gone through the Virgo stage of life, which teaches such lessons as financial responsibility and the value of seeking excellence in one’s pursuits. Though both signs are highly flexible and adaptive, it is Libra’s keen awareness of right and wrong, yin and yang, and fairness that beat out the constantly-jumbled and flighty Gemini.
Winner: Libra
Championships:
Aquarius vs. Libra
Between Aquarius’ selflessness and Libra’s unrelenting need to balance the good and bad of life, these signs have a lot of positive qualities going for them. Both signs display wonderful tolerance, outgoingness, and geniality. Nonetheless, it is Libra’s fascination with beauty, love, and the aesthetes that make them our winner. Libras are ruled by Venus, the planet of love, which makes these charming individuals pursue a deeper connection in all of their relationships, be it platonic or romantic. Aquarius can sometimes fall short in this category, as they have a tendency to view romantic love as restricting and overbearing. Libras make awe-inspiring partners, leaders, and friends in all that they do, and for all these reasons and more, they win our Zodiac Madness bracket.
Winner: Libra
Picture courtesy of Astrology Bay
Lyon Life 