Madelyn Furstenau ‘26, Editor-in-Chief
If you are a woman, chances are that someone has called you “high maintenance” at some point in your life. Maybe you prefer clothes that are on the pricier side or insist on having a 10-step skincare routine, so when you hear this backhanded remark, you just laugh it off and move on. But the reality is, telling girls they are too much just because they have higher standards or enjoy romanticizing little moments is just another way to diminish confident women. Not only is it sexist at its core, but it dismisses genuine desires and labels women’s preferences as excessive. Although a seemingly harmless comment, it can lead to women feeling discouraged from expressing their valid needs in relationships, friendships, or daily life. On a more extreme side, if women think they are being overdramatic for feeling unsatisfied in their relationship, they may feel pressured to stay with abusive partners; they might stay in toxic relationships because they have been made to believe that worse treatment is what they deserve.
Traditional gender roles have always been marketed toward silencing women, forcing them to accept whatever treatment is handed to them, usually out of fear of inconveniencing someone else. Whether it be degrading them or calling them weak, objectifying them, or contributing to gender inequality in general, women have been belittled by their male counterparts. This is the newest way of silencing women and forcing them back into a stereotype. Those who strive to have fulfilling relationships or have high standards are automatically perceived as “too much,” even though respect and genuine interest should always be prioritized in a relationship. The “high maintenance” label makes women feel as though they are asking for too much, even if they hardly receive the bare minimum from their partners. Senior Isabella Menzer said, “Especially in high school, it’s really hard to find guys who are okay with higher standards. There is no need to settle for someone who isn’t willing to do meaningful little things for you.”
An article from Medium encapsulates the dangers that come with dismissing a woman’s reasonable high standards: “It feels like women are pressured to be laid back and ‘go with the flow’ just to avoid being labeled as difficult. It’s time we recognize that having standards is not only valid, but essential.” There is nothing wrong with expecting fair treatment from not just a romantic partner, but also from friends, family members, or coworkers. You are not asking for too much; you should not have to settle for blatant disrespect. It is time we, as a society, acknowledge that women are not “hard to please”—many men just cannot be bothered to offer more than the bare minimum. Young women should be raised to know their worth, but instead, teenage girls have set their standards much lower just to prioritize others’ feelings over their own.
We cannot perpetuate the idea that any woman expressing her needs is high maintenance. Instead, we must validate those who set higher standards and stick to them, as nobody should have to settle for anything less than what they feel they deserve. Rather than judging those who expect a bit more, we can learn to raise our own standards. If you feel that your basic needs are not being met by somebody, do not be afraid to stand your ground, speak up, and ask to be treated better.
Lyon Life 